The sound of the pipes he tripped in gave out not only his presence, but also his position. He got down, protecting himself behind an old container. He felt his heart racing and cursed in a whisper, mad at himself. He should have followed the orders of waiting for backup instead of risking the operation by trying to settle things on his own.

With no way out, he took his gun out of the holster and pointed out at random. He didn’t remember pulling the trigger, but he heard the sound of the shot and the hard thump of a body falling on the floor.

He got closer to the body, carefully, shivering and with a bad feeling.

— Satoshi... — the voice he knew so well said his name, painfully. 

— Tou-chan! — he cried desperately, getting down towards the body he was able to recognize even in the dusk.

**************************

Sho Sakurai kissed the sweet-smelling front softly before placing the little body at the bed. He fixed a lock of the dark soft hair behind an ear and covered her with a blanket. Smiling, he sat at the armchair beside the bed in order to watch the little girl, snoring calmly in her sleep, for a little while longer.

She didn’t seemed at all the hyperactive for-years-old girl he found when he got home. As soon as he arrived home, she jumped in his arms, demanding his full attention and ignoring completely her mother’s orders to let him, at least, take a shower and dine in peace.

The same thing happened every day, since his sister asked for a temporary asylum, until she could overcome a financial crisis she had been facing. The situation had been going for four months already. However, instead of displeasing him, having his younger sister and his niece around cheered him up. It was good to arrive at home and find someone waiting for him, and even more if the little girl in question was the cutest thing in the whole world.

— Has she gone to your bedroom again? — asked his sister, waking up with the noise. — I’m so sorry, Sho-nii. I’m so tired I didn’t even notice she leaving. It won’t happen anymore, I promise. 

— Don’t worry — Sho comforted her, smiling with the memory of waking up with the little one cuddling with him in bed. A situation that, actually, happened a lot, since she was a sleepwalker. — I just brought her here because I didn’t want to hurt her in my restless sleep.

— But it’s not your responsibility, after all. You have done too much for us already...

— I do because I want to, not for being forced to it. You don’t have to worry about it. Sleep right, ok?

— You too — smiled the young girl.

With a last glance at the girl, Sho left the guestroom. It was past one in the morning when he got back to bed. He was ready to lay down when he heard his phone vibrating over the bedside table.

He wasn’t surprised when he looked at the screen, but he couldn’t help getting anxious about it.

— Hello.

— Sho-kun... — the broken voice answered. — I can’t… I can’t breathe…

— It’s alright, Satoshi — he cut with a firm voice, trying to hide his own anxiety due to his friend’s state. — You’re having a panic attack. It isn’t the first time and you know it will pass. Do you remember those breathing exercises I taught you? 

— Sho-kun... help me... please...

— Breathe, Satoshi. Slow and deeply. Can you follow me? — the therapist forced a deep inspiration, then a long expiration, trying to make the sound as loud as possible for Ohno to copy him. It was with great relief he noticed his friend trying to follow him. — 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... One more time, ok? 1... 2... 3... 4... 5...

The procedure last for about five minutes, until Sho was certain that Ohno was relaxing. He noticed his breathing was calmer. Even so, he needed to help him restore the balance between his oxygen and the carbon dioxide completely in order to stabilize the beatings of his heart.

— Keep going, Satoshi. Keep breathing — he asked, trying to make his voice sound reassuring. Suddenly, he had an idea. If Ohno was a patient he didn’t quite know, he would never propose the idea that just popped in his head. As a professional, he knew that ignoring the crisis or trying to divert from it only increased the anxiety. However, in Satoshi’s case there was something that could calm him even more than the breathing control. — We used to sing together when we were teenagers. Do you remember how we used to lock ourselves in my room and turn the stereo on in the loudest volume? Do you remember that one…?

Ohno bit his own lips hearing his friend singing, in a deep tone, the first verse of a music they both enjoyed hearing in their teens. His voice had changed so much! Where had that childish and piercing voice he got so used to gone? Has it been that long since they had sung together? Maybe he should invite his friend to a karaoke. He closed his eyes, while feeling another teardrop running down. That time, however, although his heart was still racing, it wasn’t a desperate cry. It was nostalgic, his mind focused on a time when his sole worry was reading manga, listening to music and boasting about random stuff with his friends, especially Sho.

He didn’t even notice it, but the tuned and firm voice that always made people envy him joined the therapist’s. Suddenly, he forgot all about the nightmare that made him wake up screaming, caught in the angst and guilt from the past. He was once again the 14-year-old dreamy boy that believed life was happy inside his naivety bubble. He was in Sakurai’s chaotic bedroom, the stereo in the last volume. He was dancing while following the song, a deodorant bottle in hands as a microphone. Beside him, Sho was also making some clumsy steps, while taking the lead at the rap.

— Are you feeling better?

The question brought him to reality and the chaotic colorful bedroom with posters all over the walls turned once again into a neutral, objective and more mature environment.

— Are you kidding me? After this tuneless voice? I think that, besides the panic attack, now I also have a serious earache…
Sho’s laughter echoed from the phone, showing him everything was calm now.

— I apologize for that.

Ohno smiled.

— Thanks, Sho-chan.

— What happened? Another nightmare?

— Yes. But I’m fine now.

— Really? Do you want me to stop by? I can get there in twenty minutes…

Yes, he wanted it. But he also didn’t want to abuse his friend, making him going out at that time of night. Besides, he didn’t know how to face him, considering the last time they’ve met.

— You don’t have to. I’m fine.

— Are you sure?

— Yes, I am.

— Anyway, don’t forget to take the medicine the psychiatrist prescribed you.

— I have already taken, so don’t worry, ok? And... Sho-chan... about last week… I’m so sorry.

— It’s alright, Satoshi.

— No, it’s not. You don’t deserve even a word I’ve said. I...

— You need a good night sleep — cut his friend, closing the matter.

Ohno thanked him silently for saving him the embarrassment of explaining himself.

— You are right. But if there’s anything I can do to erase the things I’ve said to you... 

— You don’t have to worry about it, Satoshi. Just go to sleep.

— I will. And you shall go as well. It’s late already.

— Call me if you need me. Anytime, ok? And what about doing something together next week? I’m quite busy right now, but next week I’d really like to see you. Not as your therapist, but as your friend. I miss you...

— I miss you too, Sho-chan. Will you call me telling me when you have any free time?

— Of course, I will. So... Jya ne?

As soon as his friend turned off the phone, Ohno let his body fall heavily in bed, even if he was certain that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anymore. Not only for the memories of his father’s death, but actually for the lack of them. The gaps from that day, the things he couldn’t recall no matter how hard he tried, those where the worst nightmare for him.

****************

— What do you think about this, Satoshi?

— Kawaii! But it’s a bit too big, don’t you think? It’s almost twice Aya-chan’s size.
Sho studied the giant Funassyi he was holding in hands.

— That’s the point! She will love it! — he assumed, with a smile on his face.

— If you say so. Isn’t it a bit expensive, Sho-chan? You could use this money to buy more useful things.

— Oh, I will, don’t worry. After all, the one paying for this plush is you!

— Eh? — Ohno asked, clueless. — Why me?

— Because Aya-chan will love to receive a present from her uncle Satoshi.

— In this case, shouldn’t I be the one choosing it? — he asked, opening the wallet and handing a credit card to the attendant.

— No. You’re terrible in choosing presents, moreover for a little kid you don’t see for quite some time. Go see her, ok? Aya-chan misses you.

— I will, I promise it.

— I hope you will fulfill your promises, Satoshi. But, for now, let’s go to that electronic house I told you about. I need a new GPS...

Ohno let his friend drag him around the streets of Shibuya. They had been walking around the district for two hours already, shopping, chatting and enjoying each other’s company. As Sho promised, there was not even a hint of the therapist there. Not even once had he mentioned the crisis he had a week ago not even the abuse lawsuit he was facing. They just talked about random and nostalgic subjects, while having a coffee or walking around the stores.

It was close to five in the afternoon when they decided to leave, full of packages. Most of them from Sho. Ohno only bought himself a new pair of boots and paid for the giant Funashi of his friend’s niece.

In their way to the car, he stopped suddenly in front of the Tower Records building.

— What’s the matter? Do you want to buy anything else?

— No, but this store reminded me about the night we were singing “The Bubble” on the phone. It occurred me that you've never gave me back my CD. Actually, it’s kind of a habit of yours to never return me the things you borrow. There’s also that DVD...

— I remember the DVD, but are you sure about the CD?

— Absolutely. I wonder if you still have it.

— Now that you mention I might take a look... No, I have a better idea. Come on — his friend dragged him inside the store — I’ll buy you a new one.

They rummaged through the huge store after old CDs. They found several albums they used to listen to when they were young, reminding parts of the songs… It was so nostalgic that they spent around twenty minutes before they found the Yama’s CD that had “The Bubble”.

— Hey, look at what I found... Wasn’t your mother a great fan of this singer?

Ohno didn’t hear it, however, paying attention to the music that started playing at the store. All of a sudden, his mind travelled to some weeks ago, precisely to a nightclub. It was the same music it was playing when he was approached by a young stranger with whom he had an unforgettable night.

He had mentioned the name of the band, but he didn’t get it. He could just say it was for its strange foreigner name, but the truth is that he couldn’t remember most of the things the guy said, too lost in the intense stare he gave him. In those dark eyes, a sadness had attracted him as soon as their eyes met, as if the boy with bleached hair shared the same sorrows he carried within. As if they said that, in a way, he knew what he was going through and could understand him.

— Sho-chan, do you know the name of the band playing that music?

— No, but we can ask someone — he answered, going to the counter.

Ohno reached him in time to hear him approaching an employee. 

— Excuse me. Could you tell me the name of the music that is playing?

— Do you like it? It’s Sweater Weather, by The Neighbour-…

The words froze at the attendant’s mouth. His eyes opened briefly, as Satoshi’s did.

That reunion, it couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?

— Ohno-san...

His name said by the shocked voice of the boy with bleached hair made his stomach tingle in a way he had never felt before.

He could just have pretended not to hear the question and keep moving away, however, pulled by some irresistible force, he turned his body to the man, with a smile on his face.

The same smile he unconsciously kept right then, coming unwanted at the memory of that night.

Suddenly, it occurred to him that he could drop by that night club again that Friday, when he got paid.

“Stop this sillyness, Ninomiya!” — he told himself in his thoughts, going back to organizing the CDs. After all, what chanced did he have to see him again? And even if he did, so what? It wasn’t as if the man was thinking about him as well. Certainly he had forgotten him even before the warmth of his body had faded in the sheets of that motel bed.

— Do you like it? It’s Sweater Weather, by The Neighbour-…

The information froze in his mouth, before he was able to conclude it.

Either destiny decided to play with him or the drugs he took the night before were still running in his system.

Was the man behind the customer who asked that question the same stranger that would never get out of his head?

— Ohno-san...

— Eh? Dou you know each other? — asked the handsome man between them, looking surprised from one to another.

Ninomiya swallowed hard, embarrassed by playing the fool at that moment. However, the name escaped even before he was able to take a grasp on the situation. He would certainly deny it.

— We met the other day — the man answered to his surprise and relief. — He was the one who showed me this music…

So did he remember? Not only his face, but also the music that brought them together and the conversation they had about it?

— I’m a realistic person. Of course, I don’t believe in this romance junk from books and doramas. I don’t believe in ‘happily ever after’. But… who never, even if just for a moment, wished for, as the lyrics says, someone to warm them up in a rainy night? Someone whose mere presence could make you forget everything else? — he said, that night, after translating the lyrics to him.

— Oh? Really? Nice to meet you! — the beautiful stranger smiled, once again, interrupting his train of thoughts and throwing an arm over Ohno’s shoulder, intimately. — I’m Sakurai Sho, Satoshi’s best friend!

— Ninomiya Kazunari — he answered shyly.

— So is this where you work? I should have imagined something of the sort, due to your knowledge about music. How have you been?

— I’m fine — he managed to react to their approach. — About the information, — he changed the subject, redirecting his attention to Sakurai’s curious stare — the music that has just played is Sweater Weather, of the american band “The Neighbourhood”. I can pick up the CD for you, if you wish...

— Thank you, but for today, we will only take these... — Ohno was the one answering hurriedly, taking two CDs of his friend’s hands.
Ninomiya nodded, passing the products by the reader and informing him the total price. He felt his hands trembling slightely, bothered by the man’s sudden change, as if he wanted to get ready of his presence soon. 

— Thanks for using our services — his tone was strictly professional.

— Thank you...

— Bye, Ninomiya-san!  See you around...

— Let’s go, Sho-chan? — Ohno said casually, using the man’s name for the first time and interrupting whatever his friend had to say. Then, he pratically dragged him out of the store.

Nino sighed, his hand over his chest. What was the meaning behind his heart racing?

That evening, he didn’t go to see Miura-senpai.

Ninomiya twitched his mouth in a doubtful expression, while alternating his arms in his sight. In one hand, he was holding a black jeans jacket, in the other, a kaki linen cardigan.

— Which one do you think I should use? — he asked in a serious tone, while showing the clothes to the turtle, which seemed to understand his dilemma. — I want something elegant, but cool, you get it?

Niji’s goiter moved a few times as if he grasped what his owner meant it, even without being explicit. He was trying to choose an outfit he could use if, hypothetically, someone invited him out, but that wouldn’t be too obvious that he had prepared it ahead.

— Why are you staring at me like this? — he sighed, placing the clothes inside the closet and sitting in the edge of the bed. — You think I’m being silly, right? Maybe you’re right — he laid down, feeling suddenly ridiculous. — After all, it’s not as if Oh-chan would show up in the store every day to see me. Actually, I don’t think he will return…

He had no reason to do so. Not if all Ohno wanted from the beginning was to repeat what they did in the first they’ve met. The meeting had been almost the same, after all: a lively place, drinks, their bodies moving in the dance floor, touching each other teasingly.

— Would you like to go elsewhere? — the tanned man invited him, after another kiss, his body pressing his against the wall.

Yes, he wanted it. The kisses and hugs they have shared for almost two hours weren’t enough anymore and all the cells in his body were begging for more.

However…

— It’s getting late... — he tightened his hug. — I need to go home, Oh-chan — his voice answered, against his desire.

He wasn’t playing hard to get, but something inside him, something he couldn’t explain, urged him to deny.

— I see — the man seemed frustrated, but didn’t insist. He faced him for a few seconds and then gave him a last kiss. Soft, just a touch of their lips, but it took them more than usual to a peck. — Maybe another day…

He just nodded, still unable to understand why he had refused the invitation.

Even at that moment, he had not understood his decision. Maybe he didn’t want Ohno to think he was an easy lay, the promiscuous kind who would lay down randomly with anyone. It was Ridiculous, obviously, considering they had already had sex in their first meeting.

So, what kind of image was he trying to preserve?

— I should have accepted, right? What if he won’t look for me anymore, Niji? — he asked, before standing up, taking a grey sweater and dressing it. — You know what? — he shrugged, kneeling down to caress its head. — Maybe it’s better this way. It’s not as if I’ve been looking forward to this — he concluded.

Then, he took a few steps to the kitchen and took a dish wish its food and a few pieces of sweet potatoes over the sink. He placed it on the floor, beside a pot with clean water.

— Eat properly, will you? I will come back as soon as I can. Itekimasu! — he said, before leaving the house, heading to the station.

That day, the time passed by at work slower than usual. As expected, Ohno Satoshi didn’t show up, as well as in the six following days.

In the eight day, Ninomiya wasn’t looking at the door anxiously at each announce of a client’s arrival. However, his memories of the man were unavoidable, as soon as the store received a load of products to the release of Cosmos’ album, the new band of the guitar player Ohno admired.

The release attracted many clients that day; much more for the band had postponed the release in two months from the previously advertised day, due to legal issues, involving the guitar player Raiden and the members from his previous group. The euphoria that happened when finally the CDs were on sale made his working day exhaustive. In the end of his shift, Nino sighed in relief.

He changed his uniform to his personal clothes and, when he was already leaving the store, he remembered something and went back to buy one of the few CDs that had left from the tsunami of fans who wanted to see Raiden’s new work.

All the way home, in the train, he tried to convince himself that his acquisition had nothing to do with the promise that he would reserve one to Ohno when the album arrived at the store. He was also a fan of the guitar player.

He was tired when arrived at the apartment complex and he sighed in relief when he stopped in front of his door. He took out the key, but didn’t even manage to insert it in the keyhole, noticing it was already open.

In situations like that, he should be careful. However, his mind had more worry than caution. He barely stepped inside when he noticed everything was overturned.

— You took your time, Kazunari... Long time no see!

The sarcastic voice pierced not only his ears, but also his soul and memories as a tsunami, bringing back his deepest sorrows.

— How did you find me?

The man, sat lazily on a chair, smiled.

— You look different... — he said, getting closer and, ignoring the question, he held a strand of Kazu’s hair in his fingers. — What does this hair mean? I thought you had already overcome your rebel phase… How long has it been? Ten years?

Ninomiya swallowed hard, his last memory with that man striking him with a brutal strength.

— Send this man away, Kaa-chan… Please…

— I know you are scared — his mother answered, her hand covering her injured eye — but try to understand your father, Kazu…

— He is not my father! — he yelled, his soul hurt. — He’s a monster, can’t you see?

— He is just lost… It was my fault, I…

— Please, mom… — he hugged the woman, protectively. — No more excuses to his attitudes… For how long will you endure this man abusing you for no reason? Get rid of him… please…

— You don’t understand, son…

— I understand more than you think, Kaa-chan! — he yelled again, at the same time that strong knocks started coming from the bedroom door. — If you don’t want to send him away, we can both leave this house… — he proposed, holding her shoulders, his tears running down freely.

— Open this door! Let’s talk, ok? I know I went overboard, please... — his fake howling seemed almost genuine.

— I can leave school; I’ll work to support us. I’ll…

— You are just a child… You have no idea what you’re talking about — she said, getting up to open the door.

— Don’t open this door, mom…

— Your father is sorry, Kazu…

— Do you still fall for this talk? How many times has he apologized? — he asked,  placing himself between his mother and the door. — And after that, how many times had he hit you?

Obviously, the fragile woman didn’t reply, her eyes sparkling with abnegation.

— Mom…

— Get out of my way… — she ordered, pushing him aside.

— No.

— Kazu…

— Before I leave, you will have to choose — he gave her an ultimatum.

The hurt in the woman’s eyes was evident. However, she didn’t even blink when she answered.

— He is my husband. It is my duty to stay beside him…

Her apathy annoyed him, making him lose control.

— It’s a good thing my father died before finding out you’re just an ordinary woman, who would rather have a drug addicted abuser in your bed than staying beside your son! — he spat, angry.

Even shaky and weak, her hand slapped his face fiercely. Shocked, he was unable to react for a few seconds.

He just came to his senses when he heard the voice of the woman who gave him birth apologizing for something she had not done.

Disgusted and unable to handle it anymore, he left the house with just his clothes and a box with his turtle in his hands.

He had only fifteen and that was the last time he saw his mom.

Nino disentangled from the man’s touch, hurt and annoyed.

— How did you find me? — he asked one more time.

— I have my ways.

— Miura-senpai... — he guessed. — You two still have the same supplier?

— No, I met him by chance. I confess I was rather surprised when he told me you have got closer again. I thought you had completely cut your ties with the past. But I see I was wrong. You’re just an ungrateful son. Won’t you ask me about your mother?

His Adam’s apple moved, showing his tension. A part of him was curious about the woman. Was she all right? Healthy, in spite of everything? However… right then, the need to get rid of that man was more important than a feeling that he had deliberately buried.

— What do you want? — he ignored his sarcasm.

— You know what I want... — the man answered, changing his expression to a serious one. — I need money.

— And what’s with me?

— Don’t be silly! Everything I found in this stupid room was that stupid animal. I’m surprised you still have him… — he pointed to Niji, who was resting in a corner of the kitchen. Nino sighed in relief when he saw him apparently fine. — And this useless change… — he took out of his pocket the money Nino was saving to pay the rent. — I need more, Kazu-chan.

— I don’t have anything else — he sad shakily due to the tone used to say his name.

— Don’t be a bad boy… Help your father…

— You’re not my father! — he yelled, disgusted.

— Stop kidding me! — the man threatened, taking him by the collar. For a moment, Nino froze, remembering all the times he arrived home drunk or high, willing to take it out on him and his mother the frustrations with his life. Angrily, he pushed the man and taking advantage of his unbalance, took the turtle in his arms and, once again, ran away.

That night, the lights of the town weren’t enough to calm him down. He needed something more substantial.

— Senpai… Please, I need something really stronger. I need to forget…

The handsome man who opened the door smiled, giving him passage.

— Anything you want, my dearest Kazu…

What time should it be? And how long had he been there, trapped in that bubble of numbness and unconsciousness?

He carefully moved away the arm that was holding him and sneaked out of the bed. Then, he stretched his body in an attempt to bring his stiff muscles to life and he felt an uncomfortable pain on his back and hips. He also felt a distress in his stomach. Could it be hunger?

Tiptoeing, in order not to awake his bed partner, he went to the door, but wasn’t even able to touch the handle.

— Where are you going? — asked the man, turning in bed so he could watch him.

— I’m taking a shower — he informed, feeling disgusted by his own smell. — Then, I’ll look for something to eat… Want me to bring you something?

— No — the older man answered, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing his sleepy eyes. — I am not hungry and I have an appointment, anyway. — He checked the wristwatch he picked up from the bedside table. — Damn it! I’m already late!

Standing up in a rush, he put on the black boxer shorts he found over the floor. Then, he got closer to Nino and pulled him to a brief kiss.

— I’ll try to be back as soon as I can, ok? You won’t even have time to miss me — he said, with a wink, at the same time he slapped the bleached-haired boy’s tight and exposed buttocks, making the acute sound reverberate around the room.

Kazunari faked a smile and opened the door. He went straight to the bathroom, where he emptied his bladder and opened the shower. His hands travelled around his body, feeling an intense need to get his body rid of any traces of Miura’s smell of sweat.

He was feeling not only dirty, but also and mainly disgusted with himself. What was he doing with his life?

He remembered going to his senpai in search of comfort. He remembered being welcomed and receiving, not only his friend’s shoulder, but also the magical substances he needed to forget, even if momentarily, his angst and anger.

He remembered the iddleness feeling that took over him then, the moment they began to act on his organism. And how he felt light, super powerful… and happy.

At least, for the first two days.

After that, he couldn’t bring to his mind any clear memories of himself. He could only remember a few fragments of what happened to him then. If he had to describe it, he would have to borrow an expression from a famous American festival of the 70s: sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

The music, actually, was still loud, playing in one of the rooms at the house. He closed the shower and dried his body with a towel, feeling refreshed. He still felt his back and hips aching and a soft thumping on his temples, but at least he was conscious.

He tied the towel around his waist and went to the kitchen. He opened a pan he found over the cooker and smelled the delicious scent of kare. His belly twisted, confirming he was starving. Over the counter, the rice cooker was off, but the rice was still hot.

— You’ve finally left the bedroom… — Kyouichi, one of the regulars of his senpai’s house said, ironically, as soon as he showed up near the door.

— Was you who prepared the food?

— I hope you like it — he confirmed. — I’ve learned it in the restaurant I worked at as a cooking assistant.

— It looks delicious — Nino smiled, thankful, as he helped himself. Then, he sat over the table, in the opposite side of his friend.

He looked bored. He was wearing short pants and a tank top that exposed his arm muscles. Since school, he had always been the strongest among his fellows, built up in the gym. He tried, that way, to compensate his not too attractive face. Not that he was ugly; it was just that, between Nino and Ren, he was always the last in girl’s preferences.

— Oh! Umai! — he complimented, honestly. — You should open a restaurant. You always wanted to become a chef, right?

— Maybe someday… — Kyouichi said, in a resigned tone.

Nino considered cheering him up, but gave up before he made a fool of himself. After all, who was he to give someone advices on how not to give up on one’s dreams, when he also had no goal in his life?

— What’s the day today? — he asked, changing the topic.

— Tuesday, the 23rd.

The bleached-haired boy almost choked on his kareraisu. By his accounts he has been at Miura-senpai’s house for five days already. He reproached himself for his weakness and regretted how pathetic he was. Besides losing his dignity, he was now also unemployed. Even if it was remote, he had the hope to make up an excuse and resume his job without a problem, but it was clear that, considering how long he stayed away — without even a phone call to explain his absence — that would never come to happen.

At least, even if it wasn’t that much, he had his monthly payment to receive. He would stop by the store to take his incomes and apologize to the manager, who had always been so considerate to him.

He looked around the kitchen, looking for something that he remembered suddenly.

— Niji… — he mumbled, apprehensive, standing up. — Have you seen my turtle?

— Calm down, Nino — Kyouichi reassured him. — It is somewhere around… Ren is taking care of it.

He sighed in relief. However, his heartbeats only became steady when he found it taking a walk on the back of the house. There was nearby a pot with water and sliced carrots and also some green, garden rocket, perhaps.

He went back to the kitchen, where he finished his meal and then went to the bedroom. He looked for his cellphone — more to check on the time, than for being curious about the missing calls — they should all be from his job, anyway — but he couldn’t find it. Maybe it has been dumped somewhere in the house.

Looking through the window, he noticed she sun was shining. He imagined it should be the middle of the afternoon. He changed his clothes, decided to go out. He wanted to unwind, to breath the air of the town. Besides, he wanted to take the chance to check on his apartment and, maybe, stop by the disco store.

But he did nothing of what he planned on doing.

— Are you going somewhere? — Kyouichi approached him, when he was ready to open the door.

— I’ll just get out for a while, I’ll be back soon.

— Do you need anything?

— Not really — he answered, marveling at the question. Why was what he intended to do of Kyouichi’s concern? Nevertheless, he explained. — I just want to take a walk.

— In that case, I’ll make you company — said his friend, taking a shirt from the sofa and wearing it over his tank top.

— Eh? You don’t have to. I can go by my own…

— I’m afraid that’s not possible, Nino — he insisted.

— What are you saying, Kyou-chan? — he asked, playfully. — I’m not a child, nor a prisoner who needs to be watched when he’s out.

His grin faded, though, when he noticed the other man’s serious expression.

— What?

— Miura-senpai doesn’t want you to leave on your own. Rather, he asked me to prevent you from leaving…

— Is it why you are here, then? — he asked annoyed, suddenly realizing his situation. — To keep an eye me?

— I’m not a jailer! — Kyouichi yelled, vexed. — Do you think I have nothing better to do? But it was a senpai’s request and — he sighed, disturbed — I will fulfill it. Please, Nino… don’t make me hurt you.

Kazunari swallowed hard, wrathful.

— Why? Miura-senpai can’t keep me entrapped here… I’m not his property!

— I’m sorry… But it seems to me he thinks the opposite.

— What do you mean?

— He likes you very much, Nino… He’s trying to pretect you, in his own way…

— By imprisoning me?

— Why are you so ungrateful? — Kyouichi bursted. — He gave you shelter, he’s supplying you for days! Have you ever wondered how much it costs? In exchange, all he wants is for you to stay beside him! Have you any idea how lucky you are? Of what people would do to be Miura-senpai’s priority, the way you are?

Nino sat on the closest sofa, swallowing his words. In a way, his friend was right. Suddenly, he remembered how affectionate Miura was towards the people he liked. But he was also possessive and, due to his excessive jealousy, he would sometimes lose control and become aggressive. Indeed, that had been the reason he left him a few years ago.

He should have known these kind of people never changed.

Thinking about it, his chest burned with a suspicion. Would have his ex-boyfriend kept him drugged on purpose just to keep him beside him? And the cellphone that he couldn’t find? Would he hide it just to prevent him from contacting the world beyond that house?

What for? They weren’t together for years now!

The truth is, since they reunited, a few months ago, he had surrendered to the sex, but it was just a side effect from the drugs and, in a fashion, a way to pay for the substances was ingesting, but… it didn't give him the right to claim him as his property!

Annoyed, he didn’t resume the argument with Kyouichi. It would be worthless, after all. He would have to settle things with Hayato himself.

********************

Even with all his senses in alert, Nino didn’t move when he felt Miura making himself comfortable on the bed, beside him. In the previous nights, he had pretended to be feeling ill to avoid him. Right at that moment, he would pretend to be sleeping.

Not just for pride… He had lost his dignity a long time ago, by getting involved with drugs. He couldn’t even recognize himself under its influence, his body and mind lost in the turbulence of sensations: first, the pleasure, even if momentarily; afterwards, the regret and the emptiness.

In those times, his body shivered, contradictorily, longing for something he had never had. Or, at least, of what he had boldly believed he could have.

Ridiculous… someone like him shouldn’t have dreams.

Maybe, he should just accept Kyouichi’s words and enjoy what Miura was offering him, even in spite of his lack of freedom. After all, what he needed it for?

— Is there something missing? — his senpai asked, when he demanded an explanation. — Tell me and I will arrange whatever you wish. Just, stay by my side; ok? Besides, that man can hurt you, Kazu. Here, I can protect you, take care of you. Look… I brought you something different today… — he offered him a pill, changing the subject as if it was something trivial. — They call it love pill…

He wanted to resist, but his addiction was stronger. Then, he just decided not to fight a lost battle. At least, Miura had given his cellphone back, even if he didn’t have anyone to call.

As expected, there was only messages and lost calls from his work and commercial stuff. A certain frustration took over him… as if he expected someone special to contact him.

A silly thing, considering he hasn’t exchanged numbers with the person with whom he insisted on dreaming once in a while.

He held his breath when he felt the host’s arm embracing his waist. His hot lips played with the nape of his neck.

— Kazu… are you sleeping? — he whispered. — I miss you…

As he didn’t answer, the hand entered the t-shirt he was wearing, before getting inside his briefs and start to play with his private area.

He couldn’t remain inert with that.

— Senpai… — he moaned, trying to move away that alluring hand.

— I want you, Kazu… — his body moved behind him, possessive.

Then, even before Nino was able to refuse, he was forced to turn to the eldest, his mouth taken by his hungry lips.

Revulsion…

Anger…

Without thinking, he pushed the man away from him. He seemed astonished with his reaction for a moment. But, then, he smiled.

— What happened? Do you want to play a bit, today? — he resumed the kiss, once again pushing Nino to the bed.

— No… please, senpai… I’m not…

— What?

— I don’t want it… — he faced the angry eyes.

— You can only be kidding me… — Miura Hayato said, holding the younger’s wrists over his head. — Are you playing hard to get? Do you think I didn’t notice you are avoiding me?

— Please...

— The world outside isn’t safe, Kazu.

— Please, senpai… — he begged once again, turning his face to the side to prevent another kiss. But, unable to reach his target, Miura started attacking his frail neck.

— You won’t run away from me, Kazu. Why are you acting like this? I love you so much…

— Senpai… — Nino moaned, trying to move his ex-boyfriend’s teeth away from his skin.

— You owe me! — the older man yelled, annoyed with his obvious rejection. — Do you have any idea of how expensive are the drugs I give you? Do you think I’m not entitled to some compensation? — he forced his knee between Nino’s legs. — Or are you avoiding me because of that Ohno guy?

Ohno?

The mention of that name weakened Ninomiya. How the hell had he come to that point?

— How…?

— Is he your boyfriend? — by his voice, he was more than angry. — Answer me!

— No, he…

— Don’t lie to me! — Miura punched the pillow, just a few inches from his face. — You’ve called me by that name more than once during sex…

Nino bit his lower lip, trying to process the information, at the same time he was fighting against the pain caused by the man’s knee pressing on his member. He called him Ohno-san? Yes, he remembered imagining Satoshi’s face over his, his lips travelling all over his skin, but he thought it was nothing but a dream, a delusion. He never would imagine he would be thinking about the man while being possessed by another.

— Besides, there were several messages and calls from him on your phone… all of them worried about your disappearance…

Messages and calls on his phone… from Ohno? But there was nothing there when Miura returned him the device. His eyes bulged, surprised, wondering why. It wasn’t impossible to believe he would erase them, but, even if it was true, how had Ohno gotten his number?

Tears came from his eyes with no explanation, a feeling he couldn’t describe taking over him.

Ohno-san...

He wanted to see him!

With that thought in mind, he gathered an abnormal strength and, once again, he shoved him off.

The slap that followed didn’t hurt as much as his angst and his embarrassment.

— Damn it, Nino! Why do you always awake the worst in me? — Miura yelled, raising his threatening hand once again.

Ninomiya closed his eyes, waiting the new blow. But, for his surprise, it didn’t come.

— Get out!

He opened his eyes, suspicious.

— Get off!

— Senpai...

— Go, dammit! Get away from my house, before I hurt you!

He didn’t wait for another word. He ran away from the bedroom and, while wearing the jacket he was using when he got there, he could hear Miura’s rage, breaking his stuff. He put his sneakers in a hurry and left without saying goodbye to Kyou-chan, who arrived suddenly at the room, maybe attracted by the uncontrolled shouts of their senpai.

**************

The night was cold. Therefore, Nino hid his hands inside his jacket pockets, while he walked aimlessly around the streets of Roppongi. He noticed a strange volume in one of them and, then, remembered about the CD he bought to Ohno-san.

He had forgotten about it.

But he could remember the dubious feelings he had while buying it: longing and uncertainty. He had not gone after him for days and he thought he had discarded him, but a new hope aroused when he heard what Miura told him. Ohno had searched for him?

He would have smiled if it wasn’t for his frustration. As soon as he found himself at a safe distance, he searched through his cellphone history. Maybe, one of the calls he had forgotten to erase…

But… nothing.

So, he just called Ren and asked him to take Niji to his home. He would go for it as soon as he was somewhere safe. He even considered asking for shelter at his friend’s house, but he lived with his mother and two younger siblings in a small house. His father had died when the youngest wasn’t even three-years-old and they were facing some difficulty. He had no money and couldn’t help with the expenses, therefore, he gave up on the idea.

He thought about getting back to his old apartment, but the idea to bump into that man there dissuaded him.

Angry and tired, he entered the first bar he saw and asked for a beer. He paid for it with a few coins he found in his pockets and, when he turned to leave, he bumped into a customer, spilling a bit of the liquid on his shirt.

The man stared at him, angry. He looked drunk.

— Don’t you look where you go, kid?

— I’m so sorry…

— Apologies won’t solve your lack of manners… Maybe I should give you a lesson to teach you how to respect the elders.

Nino opened his mouth to apologize once more, but closed soon after, changing his mind with a sudden need to let out his anger and frustration.

His first punch hit the man straight on his nose.

But, with his luck, the man wasn’t alone. His friends surrounded him and all he could remember was being taken to the police station for questioning.

He refused to answer the questions of the officer. That night, at least, he would have a place to sleep.

In the morning after, however, he woke up a bit more cooperative. He needed to get out of there and put his life on track.

His solicitous smile died on his face as soon as he got closer to the attending tables. On the other side of one of them, the last person he expected or wanted to meet was right there.

— Your name? — Ohno Satoshi asked him with an unfriendly face.

Even if he wanted, he couldn’t answer, lost between embarrassment and despair. Was it some kind of joke?

— I asked your name — he repeated, still without looking at him.

Then, with his heart into pieces, he finally decided to put an end to that. He really wasn't born to have hopes…

He stared at the cop and answered as steady as he could.

He would never forget the indescribable look he received, when Ohno finally raised his head to stare at him.

— I’ve asked your name — Ohno repeated, impatiently. He could do nothing about the fact of being stuck to that degrading job of hearing testimonies and filling in Incident Reports, instead of being on the streets chasing the real criminals. But he didn’t have to face with a good humor the arrogant poise of the delinquents, who thought they were entitled to silence. He didn’t have the patience for that kind of attitude.

— Ninomiya Kazunari.

However, when his question was answered, for a few seconds, he wished the suspect had remained silent.

Not for distaste. If he had to put a name to what he felt as soon as he heard the name, he would confess it was rather something next to relief than to disappointment.

— Are you alright? — he asked, when he saw the cut on the side of his mouth and the bruise around one of his expressive eyes.

— I’m fine — Nino answered, his voice low.

— Are you sure? Do you need to be taken to the hospital?

— I am fine — he repeated, resolute. — Please, can we just end this soon?

The cop considered insisting on the subject, worried, but something on Nino’s pleading eyes — shame, perhaps — made him stop. He studied him for some time, wondering where he might had been. Was he involved with a gang? Running away from someone? Why had he lost his mind to the point to get himself involved in a unnecessary bar fight?

He wanted to ask so many things… but first, he needed to fulfill his duty and write down the usual report.

— Birthdate? — he went back to the monitor, willing to finish that file fast.

The questioning, between filling in the data and getting his testimony, didn’t take more than fifteen minutes. He didn’t have much to say, after all, what reassured him. As he had imagined, even before knowing the suspect was Nino, the case was nothing but a simple confrontation. Nothing that couldn’t be settled with an apology and the reimbursement of the damages.

— Will I stay here for too long? — Ninomiya asked, after a moment of silence.

— No — Ohno softened while ending the report. — Actually, as the other men involved in the fight, you could have been released yesterday, if you had cooperated. Why did you refuse to talk?

— I was tired and annoyed. I just wanted to be alone for a while…

He stopped talking when Satoshi stared at him.

— I hope you had reflected on it — he reproached him, firmly. — You could have avoided this stain in your files, Ninomiya-san. Besides, as you spent the night in one of our cells for defying the authorities, this shall be reported in your records.

— I know.

— Well, at least for now, this is all you might need to worry about — Ohno continued, with a subtly more surly tone. — I will fill the files so you can be released as soon as possible. However, bear in mind that you shall be at our disposal, as well as the other three suspects. Probably, it will be settled an amount you will have to pay to the damages to the bar.

— I see. Ohno-san, I… — his talk was cut by an officer’s approach.

— Have you finished the questioning, Ohno-san? — asked the man.

The cop nodded.

— Yes. I just need to take care of the release procedures.

— May I take the suspect back, then?

— Just a minute — he asked. Then, he searched into his bag and, turning back to Ninomiya, he handed him a plastic packing. — I believe you haven’t eaten anything since you were brought here.

*****************

After offering him the melon pan, Ohno didn’t return to talk to Nino. Only after luch he was called by an officer, asking for him to follow him. In the man’s office, he heard a severe scolding and a heated speech regarding the public order, as well as a warning that, if he ever did that again, he would spend more than just one night in the station. Submissive, he signed his release papers, picked back his belongings — the Cosmos’ CD, a few coins and a lighter, that were apprehended when he was caught — and was dispensed soon after.

Before leaving, he still looked around in search of Ohno. He didn’t really know why, maybe to thank him for the bread. Probably, in an attempt to search for any trace on his expression that could show it wasn’t over between them.

Nonetheless, as he didn’t find him, he left the station, in resignation, his chest clenching and full of doubts. Was Ohno hating him at that moment? He should be at least disappointed.

Facing the town, that was sunny and lively, he closed his eyes for a few seconds and sighed. Not to celebrate his freedom, after all, what would he do with it without a job or a place to go? He just wanted to erase his embarrassment, regret and frustration.

Realizing it was impossible, once he was doomed to always belong to the scum, with no right to dreams or goals, he opened them again and looked to his sides, trying to locate where he was.

When he received the answer to it, from a man who was selling crepes in front of the police station, he sighed, desolate.

He decided to go back to his apartment. He need to pick up some documents and clothes. He had left the place with just the clothes he was wearing. At that moment, he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, probably borrowed from Miura-senpai. Just the jacket was his. He was also longing for a bath before going to the store, to receive the payment for his last worked month and, that way, survive for a few more days.

He hadn’t walked more than a few miles, though, when a car stopped beside him and a tanned man, with sleepy eyes, approached him.

— Get in, Nino. I’ll drive you home.

Even if he was considering refusing, he couldn’t. He had no money to buy the train ticket and he lived in the opposite side from Minato . Besides, he couldn’t deny that the unexpected invitation surprised him in a good way. A few seconds before, he had thought he would never see Ohno again.

He entered and locked his seatbelt.

— Thank you.

Ohno nodded and turned his attention to the road with no more words, not even to ask for his address. Actually, for most of the way, he remained silent, with exception to the times when he would sing the lyrics of one of the musics playing in the car’s stereo.

He was clearly annoyed.

For many reasons, Nino wondered if he should better ask to get out. After all, he didn’t want to be a nuisance. But something prompted him to remain silent and he just let himself to be driven.

— Get down — ordered Ohno, dryly, a few minutes after, as soon as he parked on a place that looked nothing like the apartment he lived. — Meal time — he pointed his head to a restaurant.

Before Ninomiya was able to say anything, his stomach complained loudly, anticipating a delicious homey and hot meal. He followed Ohno towards the designated place. The cop asked for a reserved room and Nino realized it was to spare him from any wandering eyes over his bruises.

— You can ask for whatever you wish — the older man offered him, as soon as the attendant brought them the menu.

Shrugging, he didn’t even blink. Afterwards, he could pay back the man, but, at that moment, his hunger was too much for him to complain about anything.

However…

The occasion, so different from the first time they had eaten together, in which they had shared a friendly chat, started to bother him. He could be in a pathetic state at that moment, but he wasn’t asking for charity.

— If you want to tell me something, just say it, Ohno-san.

— What are you talking about? — the cop asked, after sucking the ramen soup loudly from his spoon.

— You are mad at me — he affirmed. — I know I’ve disappointed you and that I could have avoided that fight, but…

— Disappointed me? That’s not the case, Nino. I’m not mad at you for picking up a fight in a bar — he wasn’t even entitled to do so, considering his history. For several times he had vented his frustration in a good combat.

— That’s not how it seems. Your annoyance is kind of obvious, Ohno-san.

— Maybe, I have my reasons to be upset.

— In this case, could you tell me what have I done wrong?

Ohno faced him.

— You disappeared! — he accused him.

— Me? — he raised his voice, wrathful. — You were the one who didn’t even show up after our last meeting! Besides, it’s not as if we had any plans…

— You are right — Ohno said, stopping eating and softening his tone. — I’m sorry I didn’t show up, but it was not because I didn’t want to. I had an accident and I had to be hospitalized for a few days.

Nino swallowed hard after hearing this. He should have known there was a reason behind the man’s slow and limping steps.

— I had no idea…

— There was no way you could know. We didn’t exchange numbers or anything…

— Are you okay?

— I am now — he touched the younger’s hand over the table. — As soon as allowed, I went looking for you in the disco store. Do you have any idea how worried I was when your colleague told me you haven’t showed up for days? I went to your apartment, I called you, I left several messages…

— I’m sorry. I had a problem with my cellphone, I’ve lost all my recent history — he lied. He didn’t want to tell Ohno that his ex-boyfriend had deleted all his messages and calls. He didn’t want to seem more pathetic that he already was.

— I don’t know — he said, honestly.

Ohno squeezed the soft hand under his.

— You can count on me with whatever you need, ok? You don’t have to face your troubles alone, Nino.

The lad smiled, thankful, while intertwining his fingers with the cop’s ones.

**********************

Ohno parked his car in front of Nino’s condominium around three hours later. After eating, they stopped by the disco store, where he settled his accounts with the manager. As expected, there was no chance that he could have his job back. His superior’s decisions didn’t give any opening to that possibility. However, they dismissed him properly and he would have all his rights secured.

— Will you be alright? — he asked, when the lad had already opened the car’s door.

— I think so. Thanks for the ride, Ohno-san… And I’m sorry for monopolizing you for the whole afternoon. I hope it won’t give you any trouble at work.

— Don’t worry about this. I had a physiotherapy session scheduled for this afternoon, O wouldn’t really go back after lunch.

— In this case, you’ve lost your treatment.

— It’s okay.

— Well… I'll see you, then… Take care, ok? — he smiled and left the car, but before closing the door, he sat back, as if reminding of something. — I bought this for you — he handed him the Cosmos’ CD.

— Eh? When? I haven’t seen you buying anything…

— A while ago — he admitted it. — I was keeping it inside my pocket, waiting for a chance of giving it to you.

— Thank you! — Ohno smiled, playing with his fingers around the packing. — I will listen to it as soon as I get home.

— I must tell you that Raiden is better than ever! — he smiled, before definitely leaving the car.

Before turning the key in the ignition, Ohno followed Nino with his eyes until he was out of sight. However, he turned off the car soon after, remembering the lad saying he had a problem with his cellphone. He wanted to make sure that he would have his number, so they wouldn’t lose contact again.

He got off the car and headed to the lad’s apartment.

— Don’t make me hurt you, Kazunari! Just give me the money…

The unsettled voice of a stranger, followed by the thumps of bodies in conflict alarmed him. Luckily, the door wasn’t locked when he turned the handle and, blinded by rage, he advanced on the man who was squeezing Nino’s neck.

He threw him agains the wall and, in a quick move, pounded him, his fists working fast against the frightened face.

— Stop it, Ohno-san… — Nino stepped in, holding his arm.

— He was hurting you! — he shouted, unable to understand why the blonde was preventing him. However, once again his pleading eyes made him retreat. He loosened the pressure over  the aggressor’s body. The action, though, made the other man react and he pushed him.

Taking advantage of his unbalance, the man ran away.

— Are you alright? — Nino kneeled beside him, helping him up. — Your knee…

— Everything is fine with me. What about you? — he studied the red marks on his neck.

— I’m fine. Thank you…

— Why did you stop me? Who is this guy?

— He’s my mother’s husband… — he confessed, his eyes low and distressed.

Ohno was ready to retort, saying that the relation between them didn’t matter, but he held his words when he saw the lad’s body shaking, his face covered in tears.

— Was it of him you were running away?

The boy had barely nodded when Ohno pulled him against his chest, holding him tight.

— I don’t know the extent of your grief due to the actions of this man in your life. What I know is that I won’t allow you to get hurt because of him anymore — the cop declared, resolute. — Please, let me protect you, Nino.

— I don’t want you to get involved into my problems, Oh-chan…

— Too late, don’t you think?

— I…

— Pack your things — Ohno ordered, seriously, without giving him any chance to oppose. — You are coming to my house.

When it was over, he looked around the room and he felt satisfied. Not that it was too different from when he arrived at the apartment with Ninomiya, but at least things weren't randomly spread around anymore, as if he hadn’t been there for weeks.

He opened the CD he had been given and inserted it in the stereo. He smiled when the first accords sounded, approving Raiden’s new band. As expected, the quality of the guitar overshadowed the other instruments in sovereignty, even if they were playing in harmony.

He sat on the sofa and read the titles of the songs, anticipating the kind of melody behind them. He liked the more agitated ones, but he would rather listen the romantic ballads, with a more classic and melancholic tune.

— Haven’t I told you he was better than ever?

Ohno was startled with the sudden intervention, not being used to having someone around. It was true that Sho would visit him frequently and, once or twice a year, his mother and sister would show up to see him, but they rarely slept there; only when his mother had a business in town that took longer than a day.

With Nino, though, things would be different. He had no idea how long the bleached-haired youngster would remain there, sharing the small apartment with him. Actually, considering things then, he realized he invited him more out of an impulse than in solidarity, even if he knew he would do it any other way. He would never allow the boy to be at such a violent man’s mercy.

— You are right — he smiled. — The CD seems to be amazing.

— Yes, it is, especially the guitar solo on track 9. It’s my favorite — Nino added, going to sit beside him, the smell of the soap overpowering everything else. He seemed lost in a mix of insecurity and embarrassment. He said nothing about his stepfather’s attack, apart from what Ohno had seen and, despite his curiosity, the cop decided not to insist on the subject.

— Let me see this… — he asked, pulling Nino’s chin gently to him in order to analyze the bruise around his left eye. — It’s quite bad… are you sure you don’t want to go to a hospital?

— There’s no need of that. I’m fine, Ohno-san.

— If you say so, I’ll believe you. — He shrugged, while opening a first aid box that he had previously left over the center table. — But we should keep an eye on it.

His fingers opened a small flask, with a green compond inside.

— It’s only an arnica balm — he explained, while applying it gently over the bruise.

— You have an entire pharmacy inside that box — Nino joked, avoiding his host’s eyes, while he worked on his face.

— Well, in my job you can’t help suffering a few damages…

Ninomiya smiled, his expression softening.

— Is there any other place that need to be treated? — Ohno asked, helpfully.

The young man denied with his head.

— Nino… I don’t know what prompted you to fight on that bar… — the older man said, closing the flask and placing it on the first aid box. — I don’t even know what kind of relationship you have with your stepfather. I confess I’m curious, but I won’t ask you a single thing — he rushed in telling him, under the lad’s anxious stare. — I don’t wanna play the cop with you, but I want you to know that I’m here if you need or want to open up…

Caught by surprise, he couldn’t show any reaction under the mouth that covered his, shyly. It wasn’t a romantic kiss. In reality, it was just a peck, almost innocent.

— Thank you — Nino whispered, staring at him with grateful eyes.

— You don’t have to thank me…

— I’ve missed you so much, Oh-chan… — the younger cut him, in an unexpected confession.

— I though I would never see you again — Satoshi admitted, melting. — I’ve searched for you for days.

— I’m so sorry. I couldn’t contact you and I never got your messages…

— It doesn’t matter anymore… We are together now — he enveloped Nino in a tight hug. How long had he been wanting to hold him like that? He felt him shivering and the feeling of the soft scented skin against his, with that music around them, boosted his desire.

This time, the kiss was anything but innocent. His lips fought in a desperate and urgent duel. Their bodies fit in so naturally in such an intimate and needy way that he barely noticed the moment they laid down on the sofa.

So good!

However, as soon as Satoshi’s conscience brought him to reality, he moved away, unwilling to give the wrong impression. He didn’t want Ninomiya to believe he had sheltered him in exchange for sex.

— I’m… taking a quick shower — he stood up quickly. — I’ll be right back to take care of our dinner. Do you mind if we ask for a pizza?

— No, I…

— Can you take care of it, then? — he cut him, handing him a handful of folders from restaurants and pizzerias he collected for his lonely nights.

He didn’t even wait to hear Nino’s reply, going to the bathroom in frustration. He took more than ten minutes there, cursing at his sinful thoughts. After all, what kind of pervert would take advantage of the lad’s frailty in such a moment?

He put on a pajama pants and a marine blue t-shirt and sighed, rehearsing a casual expression before going back to the room.

— How much was it? — he asked, opening his wallet to pick upthe money, but he had no answer.

Nino was asleep, hugged to one of his cushions. He got closer, admiring his young and beautiful face. Helpless and hurt like that, he looked even younger, almost a boy. He felt pity when he noticed his face wet from the tears he let fall in silence. Or maybe he only hasn’t been able to listen, lost on his own thoughts.

He wanted to wake him up so he could sleep more comfortably in bed, but the exhausted expression of the lad prevented him to do so. Then, he went to the room and covered his delicate body with a futon. Before leaving him, however, he caressed his soft face with the back of his fingers, promising himself that, if it depended on him, Nino would never get hurt like that.

A vain promise, he would find out not much later.

**********************

The scent of coffee reached him as soon as he opened his eyes. He stretched his body, before sitting up in bed. He caressed his sore knee, remembering he had to reschedule the physiotherapy session he had lost the day before.

He sighed, lost in the mental battle between the need to stand up and the lethargy of his body, which wasn’t yet ready to leave the bed. If it was in any other day, his laziness would surpass the obligation, but in that morning, specially, he had reasons to ignore his fatigue.

He entered the kitchen around fifteen minutes later, after taking his first cares of the morning.

— Good morning, Ohno-san!

The joyful greeting cheered him up. There was still a glimmer of sadness in those expressive eyes, but his looks barely reminded him of the frail boy from the night before.

— Good morning. How did you spend the night?

— Well, considering I have slept like a log — Nino answered, sincerely. Satoshi had watched him sleeping, attentive to any suspect movement, but he kept his heavy sleep and deep breathing almost through the night. — I hope you won’t mind, but I took the liberty to mess in your kitchen. There wasn’t much, but I tried to improvise something for your breakfast…

— Thank you — he smiled, while pulling up a chair, waiting for the lad to serve him a cup of coffee. — I’m sorry for the nuisance. Until yesterday I lived on my own and never bothered in making my own food. Most of the time, I bring home a bentou. However, now that I have company, I need to go shop for groceries urgently.

— Don't worry about me, Ohno-san. I don’t want you to change your habits because of me, I won’t stay around forever. As soon as I get a new job, I will look for a place for me.

— No need to rush. You can stay for as long as you want.

— I don’t want to be a nuisance.

— Never thought you would be — the cop said, honestly. — I like the idea of having you here with me… Please, take off this worry from your face and make yourself comfortable, ok?

Nino smiled, grateful.

— I just don’t want to bother you, invading your personal space…

— I’ve already told you it’s not the case. Forget about that and come have breakfast with me — he asked, pointing with his head to the chair at the other side of the table.

— At what time do you go to work?

— I have to be in the police station at eight. And I usually leave work at five. Well, that is until I’m freed to go back to the streets to do what I really like. In my real position, I don’t have a fixed schedule… — he added, trying to justify the days he had looked for Nino in the time he was supposed to be working.

— Then, your work in the police station is temporary?

— Yes, until I’m released by my orthopedist. According to what he said in my last appointment, it might still take a few weeks. I can barely wait to go back to my job in the Narcotics Department.

— Narcotics? — a strange tone in Nino’s voice caught him by surprise.

— Yes, it’s where I’ve been working for three years.

— It seems interesting. — Nino bit a slice of toast. — Is there anything specific you wanna have for dinner? — he changed the subject, suddenly.
— Are you cooking? — the host asked, excited by the idea of eating something prepared by the lad.

— It’s the least I can do while I’m living here, right? I insist in helping you with the maintenance and the expenses of the house.

The cop was about to say it wasn’t necessary, but he didn’t want to hurt his guest’s pride.

— In that case, do you know how to prepare nabe? I have been wanting to eat it at home.

Ninomiya smiled.

— It was one of my father’s specialties when we had a restaurant in Sasakura. He was a chief of cuisine. I’ve seen him making this dish so many times… It’s my favorite.

— Then, it’s settled. I can't wait to taste your food….

— Please, don’t bear too high expectations. The chief was my father…

*******************
His working day seemed to drag on. Maybe because he was anxious, looking all the time at his watch, waiting for the moment to go home. He definitely wasn’t born for that kind of bureaucratic work and he only cheered up when he got a call from Sho, concerned about his absence on the physiotherapy session, and when he called Nino at luchtime.

He shivered briefly when he heard his voice on the other side of the line for the first time. The lad had eaten a quick snack downtown, where he was settling the matter of the return of his apartment to the Real Estate. He complained about the high fine, but he seemed to be satisfied for resolving it.

Afterwards, he would go to a supermarket to buy the ingredients for the dinner.

— See you later, Oh-chan!

The nickname made his heart flutter. He smiled as a fool and felt his face burning. He felt ashamed for blush as a infatuated teenager, but he couldn’t hold his emotions.

When he arrived at home, he could barely hold his desire to embrace Nino.

— Tadaima! — he said, enjoying the greeting. How long since he had said that, not having anyone at home to answer?

— Okaeri! — the lad greeted him back with a smile. — You are late!

— I’m sorry. I had to assist in a last minute incident.

— Well, I’ll finish up the dinner, then, while you are bathing. Don’t take long, ok?

He didn’t.

Actually, it was the quickest bath he had ever taken in his life.

The Nabe was delicious, much more than he had imagined. However, he took a while to express his opinion, enjoying Nino’s anxious look towards him.

— So?

— Delicious! — he answered, allowing his mouth to twist in delight. — It’s more delicious than the one that my mom makes…

— You don’t have to exaggerate, Oh-chan… — the lad complained, unable to hide his satisfaction.

After dinner, they sat together in the living room, in order to watch a baseball match to which they barely paid attention, entertained in a joyful conversation about their tastes and peculiarities. When they realized, it was past midnight.

— I’m sorry, Oh-chan. I was bothering you with my questions and didn’t even notice the time going by. You have to wake up early tomorrow.

— I’m used to sleep late at night, Nino. Don’t worry.

Even being true, his body betrayed his fatigue and he yawned.

— See you tomorrow, Oh-chan… — Ninomiya said, after coming back from the bathroom and fixing the cushions on the sofa.

— What are you doing?

— I'm getting ready to sleep.

— In the sofa? Don’t you wanna share the bed with me?

Nino raised an eyebrow at the comment, seeming not to understand what he had said.

— Don’t get me wrong… — he said fast, under the lad’s stare. — But the bed is wide…

Nino just nodded, seeming frustrated, but followed him to the bedroom and waited for him to make himself comfortable on his usual side of the bed.

They both laid there in silence, embarrassed by the situation.

The little boy nodded, his rounded eyes full of expectations, in spite of having heard the same story a dozen times before.

His father smiled and fixed the scarf around the boy’s neck. Then, he took the little boy’s hand and restarted walking to the school. After clearing his throat, he started telling, in a kind voice, his son’s favorite story.

— Once upon a time, there was a young fisherman. One day, walking along the beach in a summer afternoon, he saw the boys mistreating a helpless turtle that was resting over the sand. Enraged, he saved her and took her safely back to the sea. In the following day, another turtle got closer to him telling that the one he helped was, actually, the daughter of the Emperor of the Sea.

— Urashima-san wasn’t afraid of the talking turtle, papa?

— At the beginning, yes. But, then, he realized it didn’t mean no harm to him, quite the opposite. He came to kindly invite him to a meeting with the Emperor, who wanted to thank him personally for having rescued his daughter from the abuse of those evil boys. So, the fisherman climbed on the huge turtle’s back and was taken till the bottom of the sea, to the marine palace.

— Sugee! — the little boy yelled, as soon as they stopped on the crossing, waiting for the traffic light so they would get to the opposite side safely. — Urashima-san received the power to breath under water, right? — he proceeded, euphoric.

— Exactly — his father confirmed, when the boy stopped talking, waiting for the rest of the tale. — When he got there, the turtle he had saved had turned herself into a beautiful princess and her father, the Emperor, ordered a party in gratitude for his kindness.

— And he stayed there for many days — he completed, his short legs struggling to follow his father’s steps.

— That’s right! But he missed his life and his relatives on earth and decided to go back to the surface. Before he left, though, the princess gave him a present…

— An ark!

— Precisely! And do you remember what she told him when she did it?

— That he should only open it when he was very old.

The grown up nodded with a smile.

— But Urashima Taro disobeyed the princess…

— Well, he was desperate and sad. When he got back home, everything was different: the people, the place. Nobody remembered him, apart from the story of a fisherman called Urashima Taro who got lost in the sea around three hundred years before. In other words, he had spent all those years in the sea without noticing.

— How long is three hundred years, papa?

— A lot of time, my son.

— Poor Urashima-san. He never got to see his family again…

— No, and that is why he went to the shore searching for the turtle princess, but she didn’t show up. Therefore, he opened the ark. Out of it a came out a smoke that enveloped him and his body started to change. His skin got wrinkled, his hair became white. From the sea, he heard the princess telling him he should not have opened because, in its inside, was his eternal youth.

— Urashima-san should have been more obedient.

— Yes. If he had followed the advices of the princess, he would have lived many years.

— It's a pity, right, papa?

— Yes. That is why you shall be a very obedient boy and follow the advices of the elders, ok?

The boy nodded, before pulling his father right in front of a pet shop that was on his way to school.

— Papa, can I have a turtle princess? — he asked, pointing his little finger towards the huge exposed aquarium, where five little tortoises were calmly resting.

— Well… if you behave like a good boy, who knows? — the grown-up smiled, understanding his son’s intentions in making him telling the story on the way.

Two months later, on his birthday, the little Kazu received a delicate carton box from his father.

— Take good care of her — he said, when the small tortoise cub appeared over his hand.

— My turtle princess! — he yelled, excitedly.

His father corrected him, explaining the differences between a turtle and a tortoise, but he didn’t mind that information. Niji was the best present he had ever received. Not only because he had wanted the little animal so much, neither for his connection to his dad, — it was their favorite legend — but mainly because it was the last thing he had given him, his last memory. Three days after his six-years-old's birthday, his father died in a car accident.

Nino closed his eyes for a second, his memories travelling through all the cells of his body. He had so much and, suddenly, everything had been taken away from him.

His chest burned in a mix of longing, pain and revolt.

— Nino...

His friend’s voice brought him back to reality.

— I’m sorry for taking so long. I…

— Ren! — he hugged him affectionately.

— Are you alright? — the newcomer asked, as soon as they separated. — You have no idea how worried we were! You vanished! You never got back home…

— I’m sorry, Ren. I had to leave the apartment.

— Kawagara-san? He went after you again?

Nino nodded, the image of his mother’s husband getting into his mind, even if he was trying hard to fight against this memory.

— What about your cellphone? You never picked up any of my calls!

— I’ve changed my number — he confessed. — I didn’t want any contact…

— He's regretting it, Nino. Our senpai wants to see you, to apologize. You have no idea of how devastated he has been since you’ve left his house.

— I’m sorry, Ren, but I don’t want any contact with him — he repeated, firmly. — At least not for now.

— Did he hurt you? — the question was full of guilty and concern.

— Not physically, no — he answered, in spite of the slap he received then.

— I’m sorry, Nino. I should have…

— It’s okay, Ren — he comforted him, putting his hand on his friend’s shoulder. He was also a victim of the drugs and was subjected to Miura. He knew quite well the effects of their senpai’s anger whenever he was confronted and, therefore, he understood his friend’s omission.

— Are you really alright? Where are you living?

— In a friend’s house — he answered, trying to highlight the kind of relation he had with Satoshi. He didn’t want Ren to tell Hayato that he was with someone. Besides, he wouldn’t know how to define the relationship he had with the cop. It was true that, since he moved into his house, they had been living like a couple in love: they shared the meals, watched TV side by side, listened to music with their bodies almost attached to one another on the couch and made love almost every night. However, they have never had any conversation about what they actually meant to each other.

— Do you need anything?

— Nothing at all.

— Are you sure? Miura-senpai…

— I don’t want anything from him! — he cut the man before he could offer him what he had been avoiding for weeks. It wasn’t being easy, however… being with Satoshi was more important than anything else.

— I see — his friend didn’t insist. — But, Nino, if you ever need anything, you know you can count on me, right?

— I know. You have already helped me a lot by taking care of Niji this whole time — he opened his wallet and handed his friend a few notes. — For the expenses you’ve had with her…

— Don’t worry about it.

— Please, take it, Ren.

The other man opened his mouth, maybe in the intention to refuse one more time, but changed his mind. He stretched his hand and took the money without arguing.

— My siblings got pretty attached to her. It was hard taking her away from them, you know?

— I’m so sorry.

— It’s alright. You and this tortoise have a long story, right? For how long have you been together?

— Nineteen years — Nino answered, looking tenderly to the box, tightly attached to the back of his friend’s motorbike.

— In this case, I think you have already been too long apart. Ren untied the box and handed it to him.

— Thank you — he said, with his eyes wet. Then, he turned his attention to the tortoise, lifting her to his eyes. — Hi, princess! I’ve missed you so much!

**********************

— Are you ready? — Satoshi asked, as soon as he entered the room, his body still humid from the bath he had just taken.

For a few seconds, Nino moved his eyes away from the man’s body, shyly. Not that he didn’t appreciate the scenery or that he had never seen him naked. Much on the contrary. Nonetheless, he haven’t got used yet to the natural way he would parade in front of him with no clothes on.

He sat on the bed, the white towel working hard to dry his short and brown hair.

The sight of the messy hair and the tanned and naked body couldn't be more sexy.

— I think so. Do you think this clothes are too casual? — Nino asked, taking the attention from his companion’s body to his own. He had changed his shirt a thousand times, undecided regarding what to wear.

The cop put down the towel and stared at him. A buzz ran over his body at the feeling of his sleepy eyes over his body in a slow and detailed inspection.

They first stopped on his jeans, then, on his white t-shirt and the short-sleeved blue plaid shirt, he was wearing over it.

— Honestly, I would rather you weren’t wearing anything at all.

— Oh-chan...

— You look perfect, Nino — Satoshi smiled. Then, he went to one of the drawers from the mahogany cabinet, which was placed at the corner of the bedroom. On his way, he caressed the shell of Niji, that was resting on the floor.

Nino got moved by the cute gesture. He had never thought the man would receive the tortoise so well. For days, he had rehearsed a way to talk to him about it. It was true that his pet wasn’t noisy nor requested a lot of work, but he didn’t want the owner of the apartment to believe he was abusing his hospitality.

However, when he mentioned her, his reaction was much more positive than he expected. He not only had accepted him to take her in, but was also very affectionate to her.

— She is beautiful, Nino! — Satoshi told him, when he showed up with Niji, two days ago.

— Have you ever had a pet, Oh-chan? 

— About two years ago, I’ve had a lizard. I rescued him from a house that worked as a clandestine drug lab. But I didn’t have too much time to take care of him. Besides, my mother got so attached to Kagi when she came to stay with me for a few days that I decided to let him with her. He’s now with her and my sister in Tateyama.

Nino smiled, imagining how would be Satoshi’s interaction with the lizard. He would give anything to watch the scene.

— This shirt looks amazing on you — the cop said, searching inside the drawer.

— Are you sure? I can change if you believe it's…

— It’s perfect! — he repeated. — Besides, it’s just Aiba and Sho. I don’t know why are you so worried about it.

— They are your friends, Oh-chan. I want to make a good first impression!

— Believe me, Nino, if Sho have any bad impression about you, it will change as soon as he taste your food — he joked, before pulling up his briefs. — And Aiba is unbelievable friendly. Don’t worry. They are adorable and they are eager to get to know you.

— That only increases my insecurities. What if I'm not up to their expectations?

— Impossible! — Satoshi got closer, messing up with his hair. — And even if it happens, it won’t change a thing for me. You surpass my expectations. Have you any idea of how you’ve changed my life just for being here?

— Oh-chan… — he lowered his eyes, unable to face him. If the man knew the truth, if he had any idea of the nothing he really was… But how could he confess he had been lying about himself from the moment he had met him, making he believe he was someone worth of being loved? Of sharing a life with him? For the first time in years, he felt once again alive. His heart pulsed every time Satoshi arrived at home or called in the middle of the day. He could feel his veins burning whenever he touched him, all his body filled with pleasure and desire just for having him at his side.

He didn’t want to lose that.

Not yet.

One day, he knew Satoshi would get disappointed on him and send him away from his life. That day, without a way out, he would have to leave him and return to the emptiness where he was destined to live.

However...

A while longer.

For just a little while longer, he would pretend to be the person for whom those deep eyes shimmered with kindness.

— You are special, Nino. 

— Not more than you, Oh-chan — he closed his eyes, in order to intensify the touch of that hot hand traveling over his face. — Thank you for giving me back my dreams.

— Are you seducing me?

Nino smiled.

The answer came with a hot kiss.

Their mouths moved passionately, in the same time their bodies searched for the other's warmth.

— Oh-chan — Nino whispered, while those hungry lips attacked his neck. — Your friends shall arrive here at any moment now…

— So, we must be really fast… — Satoshi retorted, his lips traveling down his neck.

Satoshi sighed, rehearsing a unworried expression before smiling at the psychologist, who stared at him behind his preppy glasses. He wondered, at that moment, if he only used those to seem more professional, since he couldn’t remember him wearing them in the past.

Maybe that was the case since, now that he was considering it, he had only seen Sho using glasses at his office. And if his intention was to look like a more reliable specialist, he had achieved it perfectly.

Behind those red glasses, he seemed nothing like the ironic and funny person he had always been. Nor even the fact that he was his best friend could ease the pressure of being analyzed by him. Quite the opposite! Sho was an incorruptible and competent professional and would never act on his favor if he didn’t believe he was doing the right thing.

Therefore, his superiors allowed him to have Sho as his psychologist, even though it was against the ethical code.

But, what else could they do? After the tragic death of his father, Satoshi had remained in catatonic state for almost a year. Even though the department had sent several professionals to take care of him, Sho had been the only one to whom he reacted. Therefore, under Maeda-san’s supervision, he received the approval to follow his treatment.

From then on, he had periodical consultation with him every four months or whenever requested, as in his last case of abusing of authority. At that exact moment, Sho was evaluating if he was ready to go back to the streets, after the end of his sick leave.

— I’m fine, Sakurai-sensei — Ohno answered, focused in addressing his friend properly in that kind of formal situation. — I still have some nightmares, but they are much less intense than before and, since the last time I had to call you, I didn’t have any other panic crisis.

— This is very good news!

He nodded and continued his session, telling the man about his more recent visit to the psychiatrist, the reduction on his medicines and even random things that Sho incited him on telling.

— I believe I am ready to return to the department — he affirmed at a certain point of the conversation, when Sho finally asked him about work.
— Are you sure? — the psychologist inquired, his eyes locked on his.

— Absolutely — he said, with conviction. — I believe I’ll be much more useful in the streets, where I can do the work I was trained to do.
— You don’t feel yourself useful doing the bureaucratic work, Ohno-san?

For a moment, he considered sending Sho to hell, bothered by the countless useless questions to which they both know perfectly the answer.

However, unlike any other professional that could be trying to destabilize him in order to bring him to some sort of contradiction, he knew his friend was just following a script. After all, he himself had to use that excessive questioning technic for several times during the questioning sessions that he had conducted.

Then, the feelings he had been trying to avoid came up and he faltered.

Opening one of the drawers, he took off a yeallow envelope. The same one he had sworn to ignore, as soon as he received it from the doorman’s hands. There was a white card attached over it with a sellotape showing a small text, written with the steady strokes of the handwriting he knew so well.

His boyfriend smiled and connected the guitar to the speaker. Before starting the first notes, however, he pulled him closer making their lips touch in a soft kiss.

— Thanks for being so patient with me, Masaki — he thanked him, touched. — I know I've been at fault with you in these last few months, putting my job first, in order to buy this guitar, but you know I’ve done it for the two of us, right? One day, I will be a famous guitar player and you will become the doctor you’ve always wanted to be. Then, we won’t have to depend on anyone, neither have to hide from people who can’t understand our love. Nothing will tear us apart, my love. I promise it.

If he only knew how wrong he was! Not that the music was to blame for all the problems that happened afterwards, but the circumstances. Suddenly, the idealistic for whom he had fell since they were kids started acting like an arrogant and selfish man. They could barely see each other due to his exhaustive schedule.

When they managed to be together, the time they had was so short that they started to put their conversation to a second plan, replacing them with the urgency to satisfy their longing bodies.

It was around that time that he realized the change. Not only in the guitar player’s personality, but also in the kind of music he started writing. His songs had no longer the innocence from before, the essence that captivated his first fans.

Maybe that was the reason why he was so moved by the first accords of his new work. They brought him memories of the time when his boyfriend wasn’t only busy composing commercial songs.

It was as if he had travelled back to the time when his songs reflected his true dreamy, passionate and idealistic identity.
He laid down on the sofa, his eyes closed in an attempt to prevent the tears from falling. He kept himself quite strong in the first eight tracks. Maybe because, even if he could recognize his style and talent behind the songs, he was still getting used to the new vocalist’s voice, with whom he wasn’t familiar.

He wondered what kind of people were the members of Raiden’s new band and how had he met them. He made a silent prayer for them to be good people, who would place the music first, instead of the illusion built by the fame and money that came of it.

However, when the soft voice of the vocalist was replaced by the shrill voice of his ex-boyfriend in the new song, his tears broke his barriers, one after another in a liberating weeping.

A few days after he left the house, his ex-boyfriend went after him, regretful, asking him to go back home and promising him that he would seriously search for a treatment, this time.

He didn’t give in, then, willing to recover his own self-esteem, lost in their last year of relationship. After a couple of months, the guitar player stopped going after him. Since then, he only knew about him through Sho, to whom he went for help. He followed his treatment from afar and only calmed down when he saw him overcoming his addiction. It wasn’t easy. For several times, Raiden had a relapse and even abandoning the clinic in the middle of the treatment. Until the day Masaki heard in the radio that he had left the band.

A few days later, his friend had told him that the musician had voluntarily returned to the clinic, where he stayed for nearly six months.

Sho was right when he said his ex-boyfriend was different. In spite of the clear maturity of his new work, it was as if he could recognize the boy with whom he had fell in love at first sight; the same boy who had confessed to him and who had stolen a clumsy kiss from him. The same unsure lad with whom he had made love for the first time.

It was out of an impulse. If he had thought it through, he would never be holding the phone at that moment, even more if he had taken into account the lateness of the time. His agile fingers traveled over the keys of his phone, pressing the numbers of the apartment where he had lived for almost four years.

Maybe it was already time to end that cycle. He loved Raiden and he would always hold a special place in his heart. So now it was time to give them both a second chance, even if it had nothing to do with romance. They could, at least, resume their friendship, the love that united them since the day they’ve first met.

— Hello? — said the sleepy voice after the fifth ring.

That voice! He wanted so much to hear it again! And, when he did, all his body shook with emotion.

— Hi. Did I wake you up? — he asked, scolding himself for the lateness of the time.

— Masaki? — the person at the other side asked anxiously, as if he had suddenly awaken.

— Yes, it’s me — he answered in a whisper. — It has been a while... How are you, Jun?

He had always liked to walk at night, without a route and with no rush, watching and absorbing the lights of the several neon lights that decorated the town. Most of all, he liked to follow the shadows they would create at his every step that would take him somewhere.

It didn’t matter where he would go, after all.

First, because he didn’t really have a home to return to. If it wasn’t for Niji — the only thing that made him feel useful in this world — he could stay days without showing up in the small apartment where he lived, just a shelter for his lonely days.

However, in the last months, his behavior had changed. Nothing planned, it just happened naturally. Suddenly, in one of those nights when he was going back home late, he noticed his fast and anxious steps. He realized, for his astonishment, that he was barely paying attention to the neon lights around him, neither to the shadows they were creating on the pavement.

He just wanted to get home as soon as he could, anticipating the spontaneous smile and the welcoming words he would receive as soon as he crossed the door.

He smiled, a cozy warmth enveloping him in the cold night. The same warmth that came from Ohno’s body when he embraced him tenderly. His chest burned in longing and he rushed his steps. He wanted to get home soon and have the indescribable feeling to have someone to go back to.

While walking he thought about how much his life had changed in the three months he has been living with Satoshi. Sometimes, he caught himself making plans for the future. All involving a couple’s life. He could be acting like a fool, most likely, his current happiness would be brief, but… dreaming was free.

For starters, he searched for a job. He didn’t want to live of his boyfriend’s earnings. Even if he had never charged him anything, he wanted to share the expenses of the house; he wanted to be in that relationship as an equal.

He found a position as a Kitchen Helper a few days later. The job was tiresome, but he couldn’t complain. Even if it had nothing to do with music, his real passion, his job reminded him of the happy time when his father would take him to work and explain the properties of each fruit, vegetable, grain or meat he used in the order preparation.

The only inconvenient was probably the time. He was working from 5 p.m. to midnight, loading the commodities, doing the cleaning, washing the dishes, peeling the vegetables and, sometimes, depending on the restaurant movement, attending at the starving clients. He still didn’t have permission to assist in the food preparation, but, for the moment, that didn’t matter. It was a fresh start and he was thankful for this.

Gradually, he was retaking control of his life, even if he still had an internal battle to win. And this opponent, no matter how much he fought against, was still stronger than him.

For several times, he considered searching for help. However, that would mean letting Satoshi know about his weakness. He still wasn’t ready, though, to give up on what he was living beside the cop.

He liked himself when he was beside him. He liked the way he had started smiling again at the tiniest things, of how he started to wait for the morning to come, to start a brand new day. He liked the way he felt desired every time his boyfriend made love to him or simply faced him, showing all the tenderness and care as if he was something precious to be protected.

He stopped all of a sudden, watching his image reflected on a glass window. The Ninomiya Kazunari he saw there, full of hope and will to move on, had no resemblance to the fragment of man he was before meeting Satoshi.

How could he give up on that?

He bowed slightly towards his reflection, as if greeting someone he was seeing again after a long separation. Someone that, in an almost remote past, used to believe he was entitled to happiness.

And it was thinking about his happiness he arrived home.

As soon as he opened the door, he noticed a different scenery than he was used to, in almost a month since he had started working. The lights of the living room were on, but there was no one there to greet him.

He found Satoshi in bed, his body curled around the pillow he used to sleep. He smiled affectionately at that sight, unable to deny how in love he was with that man.

He wondered when that happened.

Maybe he had fell in love at first sight, when he noticed him so absorbed in the song playing at the club. Maybe, when he saw him sleeping peacefully after having possessed him desperately in that very night. Maybe, when he saw him again at the disco store. It could have been when he gave him the melon bread, after questioning him at the police station, worried that he could be hungry. Maybe even when he rescued him, like a knight in shining armor, from his confront with his stepfather and, without hesitation, even unaware of who he actually was, offered him his house, asking for nothing in return.

Nonetheless, he most likely had fallen in love when he looked into those grieving eyes the first time and felt that, in a silent and shy way, they were asking for his help. He noticed then that, no matter what, he wanted to hug the person behind them and protect him from whatever could be causing him so much pain.

Certainly, because he had always wished the same for himself.

It took him just a few minutes to prepare himself to sleep and get into bed, cuddling his boyfriend from behind. He didn’t move an inch. He was probably very tired, since it was rare for him not to be awake when he got home, even if, for several times, he had insisted with him to go to bed earlier.

He kissed his shoulder over the white t-shirt he was wearing and it didn’t take him long for him to fall asleep.

************************

At first sight, the warehouse seemed unsuspicious, even if located in an isolated spot inside the harbor. Even so, Satoshi remained alert. His mind trying to imagine a silent approach while wondering why the captain had not asked reinforcement to the area.

— Wait for me here, Satoshi.

— But, dad...

— It’s an order! — the older man said, in a severe tone. — It’s probably just a prank — he softened, in face of his worried look. — I’m going to check it first and, if I need help, I’ll call you, ok? For now, stay alert.

Satoshi considered insisting going with him, but he ended up just nodding. He couldn’t contradict a straight order of his captain. Therefore, he just waited as he was commanded.

However, more than twenty minutes had passed since the oldest man was inside without any information and he couldn’t help wondering.

He took a deep breath before acting and, even disobeying his superior, he entered the warehouse.

The place was probably some kind of deposit to accommodate the tools used in the embarkations’ maintenance. Even with the poor lightening, he could see many containers spread all over the place, as well as several metal plaques, pipes and tools.

Refining his ears, he tried to understand the babbling afar. He recognized the captain’s voice, even if, because of the distance, he couldn’t grasp anything he was saying. The other voice wasn't similar to nothing he had ever heard before.

He got closer, carefully, his steps slow and silent. Nonetheless, betrayed by the darkness of the place, he tripped over some pipes on the floor.

Swearing and blaming himself for his indiscretion, he hid himself behind a container. He should have obeyed the orders to wait, instead of risking the operation, trying to settle it by himself.

Without a way out, he took his gun out of the holster and pointed at random. He couldn’t remember pulling the trigger, but he heard the characteristic sound of the shot and the deafening sound of a body falling on the floor.

He got closer, carefully, his body shivering and having a bad feeling.

— Satoshi… — the voice he knew so well called him, in agony.

— Tou-chan! — he yelled, kneeling desperately towards the captain’s body, which he recognized in spite of the darkness.

— Satoshi!

His father’s weak voice suddenly became intense and desperate, but it wasn’t from his closed mouth that it was coming out.

— Satoshi! Please, look at me!

— Oh-chan...

The new voice, a tone lower, but not less apprehensive and a comforting touch on his hand sounded as a click at his head. A strong light invaded the warehouse and the inert face of his father was replaced by the beautiful but worried face of his best friend.

— Sho… — he managed to say before a pungent pain invaded his chest, making his body contort, short of air.

— Breathe, Satoshi.

— I… can… not…

— Yes, you can. Just repeat after me, ok?

Sho inhaled deep and slowly. Then, he let the air out of his mouth. He started counting as soon as he saw his friend following his moves.

— That’s right… slowly… You’re doing pretty well, Satoshi — he encouraged him with a smile and a firm grip on his shoulders.

The cop closed his eyes and repeated the procedure for a few minutes. Slowly, he started to feel his muscles relaxing, the pain vanishing and his breathe becoming steady. He held the hand that was holding his, in order to calm its owner, but didn’t dare looking at him, as soon as he had the courage to open his eyes again.

— Are you feeling better now?

— Thank you, Sho-chan.

The therapist smiled in relief, before giving him a tight hug.

— How did you end up here? — he asked, over his sloppy shoulders.

— Ninomiya called me.

Only after the mention of the name, Satoshi finally turned to his boyfriend.

— Thanks.

— I… didn’t know what to do… You let me worried, Oh-chan… — he said, in a shaken and unsure voice.

— I’m so sorry — Satoshi said, guilty by his pale expression, his teary and frightened eyes. — I should have told you.

— Are you okay now? — Nino asked, concerned, caressing his face with the back of his hand.

— I am. I’m sorry if I scared you.

— I just… didn’t know what else to do… You had an agitated sleep. I tried to wake you up and, when I managed to do it, you were screaming and crying desperately. I called you name, but you didn’t answer. It was as if I wasn’t here… — he told him, maybe trying to justify himself. — Then, all of a sudden, you stopped screaming and just stayed still, your eyes lost and no expression on your face.

— He entered a catatonic state — explained Sho.

— I wanted to help you, but I didn’t know how. At first, I thought about calling an ambulance, but then I remembered that Sakurai-san is a therapist and your best friend. So I thought he could tell me what to do…

— You did well, Ninomiya-kun — Sho smiled at him. His expression changed, however, when he turned his attention to Satoshi. — I want to see you in my office, tomorrow.

His severe look and serious tone left no place for denial. Therefore, he just nodded.

— Well… now that everything is fine, I’m going home. You two have a very important issue to discuss.

He stood up and walked towards the exit.

— Sakurai-san...  — Nino reached him at the door.

— Don’t worry — the therapist comforted him. — Satoshi will be fine. He had a panic attack, caused by the nightmare. They used to be much more frequent before, but they have been decreasing now. Actually, it had been a while since he had any. I believe it has a lot to do with you.

— With me?

— Your presence in his life… He’s much calmer and happier since he met you. I believe that, beside you, he will finally overcome the traumas he has. Thank you for being beside him, Ninomiya.

— You don’t have to thank me for this. I’m just repaying him for all he offers me, how much he makes me be a better person. Your friend is very important to me and I like him a lot, Sakurai-san.

Sho smiled, sincerely.

— I have no doubts…

Nino was smiling as well when he closed the door. For the first time, he felt Sakurai's approval to his relationship with Satoshi. Not that he had ever showed any sign of disliking his connection to his friend. When they had dinner together, a month ago, he had been friendly and kind. But… the way he looked at him a few seconds ago, showed he trusted him. Maybe, with time, they two could become best friends.

He went back to the bedroom with a glass of water and offered it to his boyfriend, who was waiting for him in bed. He had changed his sweaty t-shirt for a dry one.

— Thank you — he said, picking up and drinking it all at once.

Nino placed the empty glass over the bedside table and turned to the switch to turn off the light, but he didn’t have the time to do so.

— My father was the reason why I decided to be a cop — Satoshi started, inviting him to join him in bed.

As asked, Nino sat beside him and took one of his hands, squeezing it in encouragement.

— He has always been my idol. We were very attached to each other. I was always running after him through the house and, whenever he had a day off, he would always take me fishing, just the two of us — he made a pause and smiled at the memory. — I wanted to be exactly like him when I grew up, including his career.

For a few seconds, Nino’s memories with his father came back, melancholically. He was perfectly aware of what Satoshi was saying, the feeling behind that kind of relationship. To him, his father had always been an idol, as well.

— Therefore, I studied hard to enter the Police Academy. My ambition was to become a captain as respected as he was. I worked hard to get into the same division and to be a part of his team.

At that point, Satoshi couldn’t avoid the tears.

— In the day he died, we were together in an ambush, following the clue about a gang that was selling drugs at nightclubs. We were talking about a kid he wanted me to meet, a young transgressor who he was advising. Tou-chan really liked him, he was always talking about their talks and about how smart he was, even if he seemed a tad lost. He believed the boy would have a great future if only he managed to get out of the rowdy life he had. When he was telling me I could be a good influence to the kid, his cellphone started to ring.

Nino adjusted his pillow behind his back and, then, intertwined his fingers to his boyfriend’s again, encouraging him to proceed.

— He turned on the car and we went to the harbor without asking for reinforcement. I thought it was weird, but I didn’t say a thing. However… I don’t remember much after that. I have only a clear memory of the sound of the shot echoing around the warehouse and the sight of my father fallen on the floor, calling out my name… After that, I just remember waking up a later, on a hospital bed of the psychiatric wing. Since then, I’ve started having nightmares about his death… and after them, the panic and anxiety attacks…

— I’m so sorry, Oh-chan…

Satoshi tightened his grip around his boyfriend’s fingers.

— I stayed in a sick leave for a while, treating myself, until I was released. I have to return periodically to the psychiatrist and to the therapist. However, the nightmares keep coming and, when they happen; I lose control of the situation…

— You should have told me. I could have been prepared for your crisis…

— I know, I’m sorry. But, the crisis lessened, especially after you came to live with me. I thought I could have been cured. I’m sorry, Nino… I was so afraid that you could think of me as abnormal. That you would want to get away from me…

The kitchen helper caressed the anxious face of his boyfriend.

— Did you really think I would leave you for something like this? — he asked, a bit disappointed. — Quite the opposite, Oh-chan… I always wondered what kind of pain you were concealing behind these sad eyes. I want to help you overcome it. Please, don’t push me away from your problems…

— Thanks for understanding me.

— Thanks for telling me.

Satoshi placed his head on the younger’s lap. He sighed with the cozy feeling of his fingers caressing his hair. He hugged him tightly, letting himself being pampered.

Nino kissed his forehead kindly, a new feeling hammering inside his chest. Apart from Niji, he had never had anyone depending on his protection like that. He liked that feeling.

Nevertheless, a shadow of insecurity hovered over his conscience, at the thought that moments like that could be ephemeral. He had no intention to leave Satoshi, but maybe his boyfriend would be the one to leave him when he found out he wasn’t worthy to be beside him.

******************************************

Aiba felt his heart racing, as soon as he stared at the foreign words in the lightened sign over the entrance of the building. The constant babbling of the other people waiting their time to enter the “Sound Museum Vision” and the fact that he was about to see once again the person he has been avoiding for more than a month, let him even more hesitating.

Maybe he should go back home, following his original plan to refuse Jun’s invitation when he sent him the tickets for the acoustic concert that would result in the DVD recording of his new band’s debut.

— I’m sorry, Jun… I’ll be on duty this night — he had said, without even consulting his schedule. Talking with his ex-boyfriend, quick and randomly, on the phone was quite different than seeing him personally.

However, he didn’t even blink before using his job as an excuse to refuse the invitation, even noticing the disappointment in his voice, when he said he understood.

He spent the last two weeks convinced that it still wasn’t the right moment for them to have a physical reunion. Nonetheless, in the last minute, his convictions were sent to hell, when he found himself inside the subway, heading to Shibuya.

When he was in front of the nightclub, his insecurities dominated him once more. Yes, maybe he should go back home, he repeated in his thoughts.

However, he was so close of Jun that the idea of receding now sounded too convenient. It would be too easy for him to turn his back on the musician and postpone the moment of the confrontation, running away from his own insecurities.

It wasn’t time to act like a coward.

He didn't act that way when he had to give up on their relationship, two years ago, in his attempt to recover the person with whom he had fallen in love. He shouldn’t act like that when it was time to confirm if his sacrifice had been worth it.

He sighed and took his place in the line. His hand was shivering slightly when he showed his tickets at the door, but his steps were steady when he entered the hall, walking to the place indicated by the staff. The place was already crowded, covered by colorful lights. In spite of the simple presentation, it became clear the attention to every detail, from the decoration of the stage until the audience’s comfort, which was very typical of Jun.

Thinking about him, he imagined him at the backstage, running everywhere in order to check the last minute details of the concert. His mind traveled in time, to a place not as popular as that one, but not less important.

— Hey, Jun, why don’t you relax for a bit? — he asked, worried, tired of watching his boyfriend restless, walking from one side to another of the dressing room, rubbing his hands against one another.

— I can’t relax, Masaki. It’s our first concert… what if something goes wrong?

— Nothing will go wrong — he comforted him, holding the guitar player’s hands. — You’ve checked everything a thousand times and you’ve rehearsed so much! It can’t go wrong.

— Do you think so? — his anxious eyes reminded him of a child, waiting for a long waited present.

— I’m sure of it. Your greatest dream is about to come true. Success waits for you, Jun.

The musician smiled.

— Success isn’t my greatest dream, Masaki. This one I have already fulfilled when you accepted to live with me.

— Jun… — he started, embarrassed.

— I love you so much… — the musician interrupted him, his hand caressing his shaken face. — No success will ever make sense to me if you are not by my side.

— Ten minutes! — a member of the staff announced. — Please, to your places.

— It’s time… — Masaki hugged his boyfriend tightly. — I’ll be in the audience, watching your performance as your number one fan. I know you will rock it, baby.
Jun’s eyes sparkled, thrilled by those words.

— Are you ready, Raiden? — asked one of his band fellows that passed by him, petting his shoulder in a friendly way.

— Our time has come, guys! — yelled another one, excited.

Aiba felt his boyfriend’s hands shivering slightly between his.

— Good luck, Jun! Not that you’re going to need any — he said, turning on his heels towards the exit.

— Masaki! — he called him, holding his hand.

He barely registered the intention behind the call before having Jun’s lips against his.

— I love you — he said, finally releasing him to join the other members on stage.

Masaki felt his chest stinging with the memory, lost in a turmoil of feelings. That concert had been the beginning of Jun’s success, but also the beginning of the end  of their relationship.

He searched for a discreet place among the crowd, not so far from the stage. Although it would be hard for him to be noticed among so many fans, he didn’t want his ex-boyfriend to know he was there. At least, not during the performance.

Less than twenty minutes later, a member of the staff went to the stage, explaining how the concert would work and some behaviors expected from them, in order not to compromise the DVD recording. Soon after, the MC of the club introduced the band.

He felt short of air as soon as he heard the first accord of the guitar, even before the members showed up on stage. The voice of the vocalist followed to the intro, tuned and shrilly, making the audience shout, euphoric.

Just then, one by one, starting by the drummer, the members started entering the stage, their instruments in harmony during the performance of their work music. Masaki still couldn’t prevent his heart from racing as soon as the guitar player appeared, beautiful and imposing as always.

He was beaming! It had been a long time since he saw him so enthusiastic on a stage, as if he had recovered his essence, his will to make music. So different from his last performances with his former band, mechanic and void of any feelings.

— Good night, Shibuya! — the vocalist yelled at the end of the presentation of their first music. — Thank you for coming to the recording of our first DVD. We are the Cosmos and we want you to have fun with us in this special night!

Then, they started the concert, playing the album tracks. Once in a while the vocalist interacted with the audience, telling the stories behind the songs, how they were composed and the inspiration behind them.

At a certain point of the concert, Jun took the microphone. The audience yelled, excited, as if they had waiting that moment from the start.

After all, most of the people there were fans of Raiden and were there for him, giving a chance to his new band, whose members were, so far, unknown to the public.

Sho shivered at the sound of his cellphone ringing. So late at night, he could only think about one person calling and he feared for Satoshi. Was he having another crisis? However, although the name he read on the screen wasn’t of his childhood friend, he couldn’t help but worry.

Nearly half an hour later, he entered an agitated bar in Shibuya. It didn’t take him long to find his friend leaning over one of the tables in the corner.

— Masaki…

— Senpai! — he yelled, indiscreetly. — You came!

— Of course I would come. You called me, right? — he said, sitting in front of him. — What were drinking?

He glanced at the glass he was holding and smiled.

— Whisky. Hey, waiter! — he called the nearest attendant. — Can you bring a dose to my friend? Even better… bring me the bottle!

— Masaki...

— Please… Let’s celebrate, senpai!

The attendant waited the newcomer confirm the order before leaving.

— What are we celebrating? — Sho asked, adjusting his body on the chair. It was clear that the orthopedist had already drank more than he should have. He knew him well enough to know that there should be a reason behind that. Therefore, he decided just to watch him. If he went overboard, he would interfere.

— Your sister’s wedding, for example — he answered. — How was the family dinner?

— It was great! — the therapist answered, sincerely. — My parents were quite satisfied with the groom’s family and my sister looked very happy. I think she is going to make a good wedding.

— I’m happy for her… and for Aya-chan as well. It’s sad for a child to grow up without a family.

Sho agreed. Although he tried to be the father figure his niece needed, he knew it wasn’t enough. She needed much more than an uncle. She needed the support of a father, the security of a traditional family. That’s why he was relieved when his sister told him she was intending to get married. Her boyfriend was older by two years, worked at his family’s company and didn’t mind the fact that she was a single mom, a negligence of her teens. By what he had seen, his future brother-in-law was very kind to Aya-chan and she seemed to like him a lot.

— Jun-chan was raised without a family.

Sho sighed, finally understanding the reason behind the sadness shining on his friend’s eyes and his sudden need to drink. He was suffering for Matsumoto. He knew they had been talking again by the phone. He had advised the man to search for him, to try and recover their friendship. And he seemed excited to doing so. Had something happened that night?

— I heard he was raised by his uncle, after his parents’ death. Have you met them?

— Yes. They never let him lacking anything, but they were completely absent in his life. As if feeding and sheltering him were their only obligation. And everything got worse when they had the twins… — he stopped to take another sip on the drink. — Apart from the five years, in which his parents were alive, Jun had never felt the tenderness of a family. He grew up lonely… Maybe that’s why he has become so attached to his guitar. Do you know he practically learned to play by himself?

— He told us during the therapy — Sho answered, after thanking the waiter who returned with the bottle of Jack Daniels - Tennessee Honey, which Masaki ordered and a glass. — Any progress between the two of you?

— I went to see him — he admitted, after a few seconds of hesitation.

— What do you mean? You’ve met again?

— Not exactly… I went to his concert.

— Today? But you said you wouldn’t.

— I didn’t mean to — he licked his lips. — It was an impulse…

Sho nodded and took his glass to his mouth, to take a sip. It was sweet, much more than the kind of whisky he was used to drink.

— How was it?

— I don’t know — Masaki closed his eyes and threw his head behind, as if he was in pain. Maybe the alcohol was affecting him. — I got lost in a turmoil of different emotions. I was proud… Jun is more mature, more centered. At the same time, I felt so guilty… for not being beside him while he was fighting his addiction.

— Don’t be too harsh on yourself, Masaki — Sho scolded him, holding his hands over the table. — You’ve been following him all the time from afar. When he suffered that crisis and stayed unconscious for three days, you stayed beside him all along, even though I insisted with you to take a rest! You only left the room when you realized he was about to wake up. You’ve followed all the exams and all his progresses.

— From afar…

— Because it was the right thing to do. If you remained beside him, he would never react.

— It was too risky. I could have lost him…

— But you didn’t. You took the risk and won the fight. It’s time for you to stop torturing yourself! Matsumoto is fine, you’ve seen with your own eyes, isn’t he? Now, it’s your turn.

— What do you mean? You think I shall give us another chance?

— I think you shall follow your heart, Masaki — Sho whispered, as if, by saying those words, something inside him had broken.

***************

— You need a good bath, a strong coffee and an aspirin to wake up and work tomorrow, Masaki — Sho suggested, as soon as they left the elevator. His arms were holding the man’s waist, while he was using his shoulder as support.

— I’m fine, Sho-senpai. I just… — he shut up his mouth when his eyes stopped at the person crouched in front of his apartment’s door. — Jun-chan…

— I tried not to come — the guitar player said, his voice shaken by the emotion. — I wanted to respect your time, but you left the concert in a rush. I was worried… Are you all right?

Masaki didn’t answer. He didn’t know what to say.

Instead of it, he disentangled himself from Sho’s arms and stepped closer to his ex-boyfriend. His tears were falling through his face when he enveloped him in a tight hug. Maybe his friend was right and he had to follow his heart.

— I’ve missed you so much, Jun...

He placed his arms over the tanned ones circling his waist and their body moved together in a constant and rhythmic way, imposed by the contagious and noisy music playing in the background.

Nino closed his eyes and let himself go, immersed not only in the melody but also — and mostly — in the heat of his partner, behind him, in the friction between their bodies while they moved their hips in an almost indecent way, in the rhythm of the music. As if, in the crowded dancefloor, there were only the two of them.

— Want to stop for a while? — Satoshi asked, three songs later, his beautiful fingers running over Nino’s sweaty face and their bodies moving at a slower pace.

— No. It’s so good in here… — he answered, adjusting his arms around his boyfriend’s neck to, then, rest his head over his shoulder.

— Are you sure? You look tired… — the older man commented, worried. Nino had been working non-stop for more than a month, always arriving late at home. For several times he caught him sighing, his shoulders sloppy in exhaustion. Even their sex wasn’t as intense as before. Usually, Nino wouldn't feel satisfied with only one round, demanding his presence in an almost insatiable way. However, since he started working at night, he wasn’t as energetic in bed. Most of the time, it was him who would search for Satoshi, his eyes full of desire and his body shivering with lust. As soon as they finished, though, his boyfriend would not insist in continuing. He just cuddled against him and it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

A good sign, at least. Before starting to work, Satoshi was worried about the time it took Nino to fall asleep, restless. He considered asking him about the reason of his insomnia, but he believed it had something to do with getting used to his new reality. He also was still getting used to share his life with another person.

— I’m fine, Oh-chan. I want to enjoy this night off with you. I don’t know when we will have another opportunity for us to go out like this… — he placed a soft and brief kiss on his lips. — But you are right. We can stop for a while and have a drink. What do you think?

Satoshi didn’t even need a second to agree. He was thirsty due to his efforts on the dance floor. Pulling Nino by the hand, he took him to the counter, where they asked for a beer.

— Ah! Delicious! — he exclaimed, as soon as he took a gulp of his drink.

Nino agreed, his expression showing his delight.

— What about going to a love hotel, after we leave? — the cop asked him, seductively, while tracing random patterns on his leg with a finger.

— Are you sure? — Nino smiled, his eyes following his fingers, playing close to his crotch. — We can just go home.

— We can. But there’s no room service at home. I thought we could order a bottle of champagne…

— Champagne? And what are we celebrating?

Satoshi didn’t have to think too much to answer to his partner’s question. Since they met, he had several reasons to celebrate. His job was going without a problem. His crisis became less frequent and Nino not only knew about it, but understood it. Also, for the first time in his life, he had a boyfriend with whom he was madly in love.

Before he was able to express any of those reasons, though, their flirty atmosphere was interrupted by a joyful and unknown voice.

— Kazu?

The intimate way that the long haired man called his boyfriend annoyed him. Not only because of the tone, but for the daring stare he threw over Nino.

— Miura-senpai… — Nino mumbled, the seductive smile he had so far, disappearing completely of his face, being replaced by a sullen expression, as if he had become passive in face of the newcomer.

— It has been a while… How are you?

— I’m fine.

— Won't you introduce me to your companion?

— He is my friend, Ohno Satoshi.

Satoshi raised an eyebrow, surprised by the almost ungracious way Nino introduced him. What the hell of friend was that? When he introduced him to Aiba and Sho, he referred to him as his boyfriend and he didn’t seem embarrassed by that, then.

— Nice to meet you! — the man said, still smiling, while offering his hand. — I am Miura Hayato, Kazu’s senpai at school. And this is Nakamura Kyoichi.

— The pleasure is mine — he shook the offered hand, making a soft pressure over it, while facing those dark eyes. There was something on them he didn’t like. Maybe it was the glimmer of presumption coming from them.

— Would you like to join us? — he invited, against his will. The change on Nino’s behavior, since their arrival, was too suspicious for him to lose the chance to try to understand the relationship between them.

— Kyoi-chan can keep you company while I borrow Kazu for a dance. I haven't seen him for a while and I want to catch up with him. Would you mind? — he asked, always friendly.

Satoshi took a gulp of his beer before answering. Staring at Nino.

— Absolutely. If he wants to…

— What do you say, Kazu? — Miura offered him his hand. — For the old times…

Nino didn’t look at his boyfriend when he took Miura’s hand and followed him to the dance floor.

For a few seconds, Satoshi’s hand shook, willing to hold Ninomiya’s arm and prevent him from following that man. But the disappointment for his boyfriend accepting so readily the invitation made him stop. Instead, he turned to the young muscled lad who was sitting down at the chair previously occupied by Nino.

— Can I offer you a drink, Nakamura-san?

— A beer, please… — he answered with a smile. Nonetheless, his sad expression showed Satoshi that he also wasn’t satisfied to watch his partner dancing with another man.

*******************************

— I’ve missed you, Kazu — Miura said, while inhaling the scent of the shampoo that the younger man was using.

— Senpai… — Nino started, bothered by his proximity. He looked at the counter, apprehensive and guilty. He watched Satoshi looking at him from afar, his expression far from friendly.

— Do you like him that much?

— He’s just a friend.

— Friends don’t dance as if they were making sex, Kazu…

The bleached-haired lad faced his senpai, annoyed.

— Were you stalking me? For how long?

Miura smiled.

— Since you’ve left my house that night. You really thought you could escape me?

— You followed me here?

— No. It was just a coincidence. But I was happy to finally have a chance to meet your new lover…

— My relationship with Ohno-san is not what you think.

Miura sighed, impatiently, but soon smiled again. He grabbed his waist and forced him to move in the rhythm of the music.

— I’m quite aware of the relationship between you two. I have even let you play happy family with him… But I’m on my limit. You are mine, Kazu, and it’s time for you to come back to me.

— Senpai, please… We broke up a long time ago…

— You did. I never agreed to it.

— Senpai...

— Saturday, eight o’clock, in my house. We have a lot to talk about.

Nino disentangled himself from the older man’s touch.

— Don’t wait for me, senpai. We have nothing else to say to each other.

— Oh, you will come — Miura ordered, preventing him from leaving the dancefloor. — Unless you want your cop to know that you are using drugs behind his back.

His Adam’s apple moved, in anxiety. Miura wasn’t only stalking him, but Satoshi as well.

— I quit it.

Miura arched his head behind, his body shaking in a laughter.

— Please, Kazu! So what are those crystals Ren have been giving you every week?

Nino bit his lower lip, in defeat.

That accusation he was unable to deny.